As a woman who's lived for 34 years, I often feel tired and discouraged even before I start talking about this topic. But despite that, it's important to face it directly. So here we are.

The constant excuses for gender inequality are exhausting. When we discuss why there are fewer women in certain industries, people often say that women just aren't interested in those fields. Similarly, when talking about the gender pay gap, some claim that women choose lower-paying jobs. Even if we consider that, it ignores the fact that many of these so-called "lower-end" jobs are essential to society.

Moreover, when a woman and a man hold the same position, there's still unequal pay. It's disappointing that some try to deny this fact by mentioning maternity leave as a benefit for women, ignoring the different family choices people make.

Despite clear data from sources like the Australian Bureau of Statistics and the Workplace Gender Equality Agency, many still deny these inequalities. Some even claim that gender-based inequality isn't real, dismissing thorough research and statistics.

When discussing how men view and treat women, it's upsetting to see blame often placed on women themselves. This cycle of blame and denial only worsens the problem. That's why I feel the need to address these issues now. Despite the progress we’ve made, it’s obvious that we need to do more and implement real change.

A Deliberate Distraction

Recently, I talked with my sister-in-law about the challenges she's facing. I brought up feminism to highlight the systemic problems and injustice she's dealing with. Her immediate reaction was skepticism about feminism, mentioning "those crazy feminists" who she thinks want to overpower men. This seems to come from misconceptions about Third Wave Feminism and similar movements. Sadly, this response isn't uncommon—it reflects ideas that media, especially social media, have deeply ingrained.

Looking back, I wish I had a better response at the time, but I often struggle conversationally. Still, this incident shows how our thinking is shaped. It's disheartening that ideas meant to help people are often portrayed as negative or irrational. This distorted view moves us away from focusing on equality and creates fear labelled as "crazy feminists."

This isn't an accident. It's a deliberate shift that avoids the main issue of equality and distracts us with fear, preventing people from openly supporting gender equality. It reminds me of a recent discussion about propaganda, hypocrisy, and personal struggle. These tactics are used intentionally to stop progress and keep things the way they are.

Unfortunately, women often end up blamed for other people's problems—sometimes even blaming themselves. It's as if some of us are always trying to excuse those we feel responsible for, not realising how that lessens the independence of those we aim to protect. This can also harm our mental health, showing the need to free ourselves from this pattern.

Instead, we should encourage others to take responsibility for their actions or lack thereof. We need to recognise that we're not responsible for others' deeds or feelings, just as they aren't for ours. Yet we often find ourselves being the unrecognised support without whom many achievements wouldn't happen.

Unrealistic Expectations

Society often puts unfair expectations on women, pushing us to always be friendly and agreeable. This means constantly smiling, avoiding conflict, and even trying to look appealing. But these expectations have negative effects.

Consider how our friendliness and smiles are often mistaken for flirting. This can lead to unwanted advances or even harassment. It's astonishing that the stereotype persists where any kindness from a woman is seen as an invitation for flirtation—even when it's part of her job, like a cashier in a store.

Moreover, the clothes we wear are often unfairly blamed for any mistreatment we face. It's as if our appearance—whether we're considered attractive or show some skin—somehow justifies others' disrespectful behaviour. Interestingly, you don't hear people telling men they were "asking for it" by dressing well or showing skin, like wearing shorts or going shirtless.

It's important to acknowledge the power dynamics here. In a physical confrontation, a woman is generally less likely to overpower or escape from a man than the other way around. This doesn't mean a man can't be assaulted by a woman—that does happen. But it highlights that women often try to avoid conflict because they know they're at a physical disadvantage.

These expectations can greatly impact women's mental health. The pressure to always be pleasant and attractive is exhausting and can lead to feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem. It can also create a culture where women feel they can't express their true emotions without facing ridicule, shame, or feeling selfish.

This situation also fuels a troubling double standard that often appears when a woman voices criticism. It happens frequently: when a woman expresses the same criticism as a man, her words often don't carry the same weight. Instead of being taken seriously, her views might be dismissed as emotional outbursts or personal issues. It's baffling that we've come to believe women are less capable of logical thinking than men.

The Need for True Equality

We need to recognise the injustice and harm caused by these societal expectations. Women should be free to express their thoughts, emotions, and identities without fear of mistreatment. How we dress and act should reflect our true selves, without worrying about how others might react.

I also want to emphasise that feminism isn't about women seeking to dominate men or ignoring discrimination against men. Advocating for women's rights and gender equality doesn't mean dismissing the struggles men face.

It might seem obvious, but it's worth stating clearly: what we truly need is equality. We should be committed to protecting the rights of all people, regardless of gender. The goal is to create a level playing field for everyone who faces prejudice and mistreatment based on factors they can't control. This shared goal should unite us in our pursuit of a just and fair world.

Equality means ensuring everyone has the same opportunities—from education to employment—without discrimination. It's about making decisions based on merit, not irrelevant traits, and giving everyone a voice in positions of power. Equality protects human rights, reduces economic disparities, and respects cultural diversity.

It seeks social justice by addressing past wrongs and supporting marginalised groups. It ensures access to opportunities for those facing extra challenges, like disabilities. Equality involves changing societal attitudes and challenging biases and stereotypes through education. It's an ongoing effort to build a world where everyone can thrive without discrimination or disadvantage.

Taking Action Together

I don't expect everyone to wait for a revolution where workers take control the means of production, but there are practical steps we can take to make change, even within our individual limits. One key action is promoting self-respect and respect for others, creating a culture of dignity and consideration. By questioning existing norms and their reasons, we can start to find alternative solutions. Also, educating ourselves about our rights and standing up for them—for ourselves and others—is important to push back against ongoing exploitation. Encouraging organisations to adopt and enforce these rights helps create a fairer society.

These actions, though they may seem small, can lead to significant change. What's considered "normal" and our habits are shaped by the actions of many. By making small changes in our daily lives and inspiring others to do the same, we can start a ripple effect that reaches far beyond our immediate circles. As this momentum grows, our influence can expand, gradually shaping a society that values justice, equality, and respect for everyone's rights.

This principle also applies to workers' rights, as the idea of constantly seeking improvement is crucial. Whether we're advocating for more rights as women, men, nonbinary and transgender individuals, or any other identity, the pursuit of additional rights doesn't undermine the struggle for workers' rights. We're always seeking progress in all areas of life. It's important to remember that when challenges arise, our unity should be based on our shared humanity rather than our different identities.

We also shouldn't ignore the importance of material conditions. While we might not be able to solve every issue before changing our economic systems, we need to address attitudes about assigning worth and value and confront deep-seated biases to create a more equitable society and economy. Trying to overhaul societal and economic structures without tackling these underlying attitudes could lead to a system that looks like socialism but still follows superficial hierarchies. While we don't have to fix everything at once, it's crucial to remember that real success requires comprehensive change in every part of society.