It's almost impossible to not feel at odds with the world. So many of us sense we are different from the model human that we believe society demands. Feelings such as these make it easy to feel lost in the world, without direction or hope, often resulting in anxiety and depression.

That is why I wrote myself some guidelines for life, so I know what kind of person I should try to be. Of course, I won't always succeed in following those guidelines. But at least they're there, like a map, to help me get back on track. But why? Why so many rules?

Society today, our world of liberal hyper-individual capitalism, wants us to believe that our whims and impulses are our true selves. To deny the compulsions we feel is to deny who we are. This system superficially appears nomadic and free-flowing as a method of self-creation and self-determination, tearing down tyrannical structures.

But how can we possibly believe we are these pure individuals in a world where capital dictates possibility? Under an attention economy where psychological manipulation exudes from every product and service, demanding we engage constantly? Where can we gain the material freedom to work towards meaningful ends with the roads to wealth so well protected? How can we ever relax when an obsession with productivity glorifies hustle culture?

Our true selves are the selves we curate, not the selves the world heavily "suggests" we should become. So we must make some decisions.

However, the unfortunate nature of our economic system means there is a range we are likely to rise or fall in life from birth. The easiest way to imagine it is by imagining we sit on a ladder and can only climb so far up because of an elastic band strapped around our waists.

When we take a closer look at our society, the unfreedom of this ladder reveals itself from behind a mask of freedom. The system we live in does not rely on a visible external authority explicitly telling us what we can do; it depends on prohibition and control. The logic of capital itself enables and restricts our movement, possibilities, and lack thereof by wrapping our shackles behind an illusion of choice or preference.

Can't see it? Think of how many things you would do if you only had the time, energy, and money. Think of how many weeks or months you could go without earning any money while studying or starting a business. Think of what you would eat or where you would travel if your budget allowed it.

Or, if you'd instead do nothing, how much of that decision is because you know what these "freedoms" cost? On the "unskilled" side of work, many offerings don't pay well and demand a lot of us physically. On the other end, we have years of study and debt to accumulate in the hopes of getting somewhere. The more a career track promises to pay well, the more prolonged and more expensive the tuition. Then what is the purpose of an unpaid internship? Of course, the company gets free labour, but those who can't afford to go an entire year without income can't participate. Capital is the ultimate regulator of access and potential.

So here we are, trying to decide what we can feasibly do and what we want. However, besides the fact that there are resources to consider, such as time, access, and money, would we want to be 90% of things we could imagine? For example, perhaps we like the idea of becoming a video content creator featuring ourselves because it would allow us to help others in some way. However, have we considered if we would be comfortable with everything else this position comes with if victorious? Have we determined that the benefits outweigh the costs?

Many factors affect how much we would find a goal fulfilling if we were to achieve it. Sometimes these things worry us due to our morals or beliefs, and sometimes they cause us discomfort because of other life experiences. So we must imagine the outcome as a whole, including all the dirty flaws and difficulties that come with the goal, not only the excellent sparkly parts. Then we can use this thinking to narrow down the pool of what we can stick to and achieve, which is one step forward in the right direction.

What do we want in our life? What things make us feel fulfilled? What things remain feeling worthwhile to our rational mind even after engaging with them?

What do we not want in our life? What things cause us difficulty in achieving that which we desire? What things don't help us but instead help themselves? What things are complacency in disguise of helpfulness? What things make us feel guilty after we participate in them?

We must also consider one of our most precious resources: time. The decisions we make every day which spend our precious time shape our lives, whether we are aware of this happening or not. The small choices count as much as the large ones, such as which websites we browse and messages we respond to first, to whether we cook or get dinner delivered.

These micro-decisions add up over time to create who we are as a whole, adjusting our habits and forming new neurological connections in our brains. So we should direct them towards the people, things, and experiences in our lives that we want.

But there is nuance to what we do: short-, medium-, and long-term effects. The short-term effects are easy to imagine, but we often don't consider how, down the road, the long-term effects of behaviour that seems reasonable in the short-term could hurt us. Why would we? To deny ourselves now in favour of the future often feels wrong because we're encouraged to feel this way. But regulation can ensure our health and safety, even if the economy desires otherwise.

Now while feelings aren't a suitable method to shape our morals, they can help us identify what may be "guilty pleasures". The difficulty is distinguishing which guilts are due to societal influence - for example, the pressure to constantly be productive, which is potentially toxic. (Can enjoyment with a constant looming sense of "what am I getting out of this" indeed be enjoyment?)

For example, working on one of my projects while Netflix is playing in the background invites the temptation to take constant micro-breaks to watch what's playing. As a result, I do two things without dedication rather than focusing and doing one thing well. If I keep doing this, I will eventually find that I can't work on my stuff without the background noise, and I will likely feel as though I'm not getting anywhere.

The problem isn't that I'm not being productive enough. My projects exist because I've put a lot of thought into them and decided they are both worth doing and meaningful to me. Meanwhile, watching entertaining content might help me relax, which is sometimes entirely necessary - my aim isn't to criminalise entertainment. But think about it. I'm both doing a serious thing and a relaxing thing simultaneously and not fully getting what I need from either as a result.

These constant behaviour-changing micro-distractions hurt our ability to achieve what we desire. But to make matters worse, what we desire becomes moulded by that in which we engage. So the more we entertain the notion that we can participate in something without it affecting us, the more vulnerable we become to manipulation. We can only ironically engage in something for so long before it stops being ironic.

Of course, we can't escape influence, but we can question "to what end" do the influences in question lead us. Often these changes benefit the paid service or product more than ourselves. They feed a compulsion to continue buying into the identity or sensations provided and change how we think over time as a result.

We aren't always at the helm - the products and services are. Following our momentary whims isn't freedom - the influences of the capitalistic world are too great. Although it's unlikely that we'll find the answers to deal with the pressures around us overnight, just being more aware and vigilant of what we let into our lives will help us retain some degree of control over them. I believe that clawing back any amount of agency in our lives is closer to freedom than allowing the currents of the world to take over.